


to win his heart

by rathalos



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Boyfriends-in-Law, Getting Together, Jealousy, KHR Obscure Ship Week, Love Triangle, M/M, Pining, Polyamory, Rivalry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:22:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27722735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rathalos/pseuds/rathalos
Summary: To be honest, Kyoya doesn’t even like Naito. But seeing Mukuro stare at him from across the street in what couldonlybe a blatant display of interest had been rage-inducing. Kyoya doesn’t have many life goals, but one of them is making sure Mukuro never achieves happiness. So if that means stealing Naito right out from under his nose, Kyoya will do it.
Relationships: Hibari Kyoya/Naito Longchamp/Rokudo Mukuro
Comments: 3
Kudos: 6





	to win his heart

**Author's Note:**

> this is a joke fic

Today.

Today is the day Kyoya will win Naito’s love once and for all, and show Mukuro who’s boss.

To be honest, Kyoya doesn’t even like Naito. But seeing Mukuro stare at him from across the street in what could _only_ be a blatant display of interest had been rage-inducing. Kyoya doesn’t have many life goals, but one of them is making sure Mukuro never achieves happiness. So if that means stealing Naito right out from under his nose, Kyoya will do it.

He would do **anything** to deny Mukuro’s happiness.

It’s a little weird, if you ask anyone watching this from an outside perspective. But you don’t. You can’t talk to the KHR characters, you stupid fuck.

Anyways, Kyoya jumps off the roof of the building he’s watching Naito from. Oddly enough, Naito is by himself, without his usual fucked-up entourage of family members. Has he given them the slip?

Kyoya lands a perfect three feet in front of Naito, and stares into his eyes.

“Y-Yeah?” Naito asks, laughing nervously and taking a step back. “You need something, Hib—uh, Hibari-senpai?”

“Yes,” Kyoya says simply.

He leans forward, perfecting his menacing aura. Being scary is attractive. Being terrifying is appealing. This, for sure, will make Naito fall in love with him.

Kyoya doesn’t say anything, but still keeps staring at Naito. The silence stretches on for over ten minutes.

“What… what exactly do you need?” Naito continues.

Oh. Now he remembers what he was here for.

Kyoya presents Naito with the bouquet he had stolen from the flower shop near his home. “This is for you. If you throw it away I will kill you.”

Naito’s eyes widen as he takes the bouquet. He even blushes a little.

Ha. Kyoya’s got this in the bag.

“Well… thanks,” Naito says, stumbling over his words a bit. “I… well, I need to get to school, so uh—if—”

“I’ll walk you there,” Kyoya says. When Naito doesn’t immediately start moving, Kyoya scowls. “ **Go.** ”

Naito takes off at a dead sprint, which activates Kyoya’s prey drive. He immediately gives chase, beating the shit out of Naito in front of the school gates and then heading to the rooftop for a nap.

All in all, a job well done.

*

“Kufufu…”

“Oh, hey! Rokudo-san!” Naito calls out, waving at Mukuro from across the cafe.

Mukuro chuckles again, dramatically striding towards Naito’s table, cloaked in darkness and evil. Someday this world will bend to his whims. It will dissolve into chaos, hatred, and bloodshed. Unimaginable evils will run rampant. Such is Mukuro’s vision for the future.

On his own, Mukuro has no real interest in Naito. He’s just another pawn, after all, just another person who’s blinded by the lies of the mafia. The mafia that Mukuro will destroy. He’ll shake its foundations and tear it apart, in revenge for what was done to him. They will pay. They will **all** pay.

But first, Mukuro will woo Naito Longchamp.

How this all started, you ask? (Except you didn’t.)

Well, just a few days ago, Mukuro had been… informed… that Hibari had been spotted giving a bouquet of flowers to Naito. That, in Mukuro’s opinion—and Mukuro had a lot of opinions—sometimes the depth of his genius and wit astounded even him—is completely unacceptable.

Even the mere thought of Hibari smiling or expressing any positive emotions is enough to cause Mukuro to break out in hives.

And he does, right in front of Naito.

“Oh my god, Rokudo-san! Are you okay!?” Naito asks. He attempts to get up, but is stopped by Pantera.

Mukuro clutches his head in his hands, laughing. “Kufufu… this is but another trial, a singular step on the path to destroying the mafia.”

“What?”

“Nothing,” Mukuro dismisses, straightening up and taking a step forward.

Mangusta, Naito’s prime lackey, tries to block Mukuro’s access to Naito, sticking his arm out in front of the Tomaso boss in a paltry attempt to stop him. Mukuro easily ignores this and uses illusions to pass through Mangusta’s arm, stopping about an inch away from Naito.

“We are getting closer,” Mukuro informs him. “I’ll be waiting.”

What he’ll be waiting for?

Why, that’s obvious.

Mukuro laughs out loud, clearly confusing the entire Tomaso Famiglia. That’s fine. They don’t need to know his thought processes. And anyways, he will destroy all mafia families in the future so it doesn’t matter.

“Um, are you sure you’re okay?” Naito asks, sitting back down to put some distance between himself and Mukuro.

Hmm. That’s not supposed to happen. Naito is supposed to be falling for his charms and grace right now. This is going all wrong. Mukuro has to leave.

“McDonald’s PlayPlace. Seven o’-clock. Tonight. Meet me there,” Mukuro orders, immediately jumping out the window even though it’s closed and he gets glass everywhere but he keeps running because he’s embarrassed things didn’t go completely to plan.

Speaking of plans, he needs to go develop his plan to destroy the mafia.

*

Okay. Kyoya is gonna break the fourth wall for a moment because he really needs to put this disclaimer out there: **To the stupid motherfuckers reading this fic, I was NOT following Naito around. I just happened to be in the McDonald’s PlayPlace at 7 PM. Fuck you. Come here so I can kill you.**

With that out of the way…

It is a surprise that Mukuro and Naito are here.

McDonald’s has long been a place of comfort for Kyoya. It brings back fond memories of bullying every other kid on the PlayPlace until they had been too afraid to even step foot inside a McDonald’s.

Kyoya sighs wistfully.

He **hates** the food here.

Mukuro and Naito have yet to spot him. Mukuro appears to be attempting to stab Naito with his trident, chasing him through all the tunnels and tubes and raving about how the mafia will fall by his hands, how the world will descend into madness and how he will slip into the shadows, never to return or take credit for the destruction he’ll wreak.

What a loser. Kyoya can’t even imagine being like Mukuro.

Anyways, Naito is looking pretty close to serious injury. Mukuro’s strikes are closer to hitting the mark each time, and if Naito was injured, Kyoya couldn’t make him fall in love. So with great hesitation, instead of inflicting harm (which he would _greatly_ prefer to do), Kyoya swoops in and saves Naito instead.

“H-Hibari-senpai…” Naito says, looking surprised as Kyoya cradles him in his arms.

Mukuro gasps dramatically, clutching his chest like he’s been shot. “YOU!”

“Me,” Kyoya says, smirking.

He sets Naito down, and for some reason… finds himself… mourning the loss of contact?

Oh no.

**Oh no.**

Naito has completely turned the tables. Somehow, while Kyoya had been thinking about how to make Naito fall in love with him, he had never considered the horrible and disgusting possibility that _Naito_ would be the one to make _Kyoya_ fall in love.

Now… now he and Mukuro are in _actual_ competition, instead of Kyoya snatching up what Mukuro wants.

And the thought of actually being Mukuro’s equal in any way completely **enrages** Kyoya, to the point where he can barely think past his anger.

Kyoya growls. “I have to go,” he says angrily, feeling his face go red.

He knows Mukuro sees this, and he can already see the beginnings of a smirk form on that stupid fucker’s face.

There is nothing he wants more than to destroy Mukuro until even the very memory of him has been eviscerated, but he—he’s blushing. That’s an emotion. Kyoya **hates** emotions.

No one is allowed to see him like this.

Not even…

Not even Naito…

“Wait for me, Naito,” he says, fleeing the scene. After they’re well out of earshot, he stops running, and leans against the nearest vertical surface. His next words are a whisper. “Wait for me…”

Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

…Whatever. Kyoya will deal with this tomorrow.

*

The day after Mukuro’s date with Naito, he comes to a conclusion.

Usually Mukuro likes coming to conclusions. It means he’s successfully contemplated something; processed it with his intellect, let ideas and concepts take shape in his head. But this? This is something he never wanted to know about himself.

Against all odds, he appears to have taken a liking to Naito.

Somehow, amidst his multiple attempts to grievously injure the Tomaso boss while chasing him through the McDonald’s PlayPlace, Mukuro had… dare he say it?

Is such a word worthy for someone such as him, who’s only known darkness his entire life? If he reaches towards the light, will it burn him?

Mukuro has fallen in **love** with Naito Longchamp.

Now he knows he can’t let Hibari win. There are actual stakes now, as opposed to merely preventing Hibari from getting what he wants. Mukuro actually _wants_ something out of this now, instead of conforming to the same old routine, that game of cat and mouse that never seems to end.

A cycle of hatred.

That can be broken.

The concept scares Mukuro.

He’s never had someone so precious to him before. He loves the Kokuyo Gang, but that’s different than this new and fragile feeling taking root in his heart. He knows that Chrome, Ken, Chikusa, Fran, and M.M. would follow him to the ends of the earth (maybe not M.M., and definitely not Fran), but Naito? He wouldn’t. He’s an unknown variable, a wild card.

This time, Mukuro actually has something to lose.

Forget scares—this **terrifies** him.

_BEEP. BEEP. BEEP._

Oh, that’ll be the popcorn.

You see, Mukuro has recently learned to operate the microwave without making it explode. He’s very proud.

But… he doesn’t feel like popcorn right now. He needs to let this revelation soak in.

 _Fran,_ he says, through his telepathy bond with Fran that I’m never going to explain, _I just made some popcorn but I’m having relationship troubles so you can have it._

 _Oh sweet_ 😐, Fran responds.

A moment later, Mukuro hears the microwave door open.

Mukuro flops backwards onto his bed, eyes unfocused, staring at the shitty moldy cracked-paint ceiling of Kokuyo Land because he doesn’t want to fix it, **ever**. Mold poisoning isn’t even that bad. Ken needs to stop complaining.

He’ll deal with this tomorrow.

*

Tomorrow turns into the day after tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow turns into the day after the day after tomorrow, and the day after the day after tomorrow turns into the day after the day after the day after tomorrow, and then that turns into a week, and a month, and… well… they’re **both** having avoidance issues.

*

The next time Kyoya goes out in public, he immediately searches for Naito.

He’s decided that Mukuro doesn’t matter anymore. He will deal with his feelings in his own way and he will start dating Naito and they will live happily ever after.

But… wait a minute…

Naito is happily walking down the street, linked arm-in-arm with—

Is that Mochida? And **Basil**? Fucking **Basil**?

Kyoya sees red.

Why? Why is Naito acting so—

Holy crap, Kyoya’s gonna puke. Mochida has just leaned down and kissed Naito on the cheek. This is—no—he feels faint— **it can’t be**.

While Kyoya was agonizing over the discovery that he could have feelings other than hatred, Naito had moved on. Or maybe… had Naito ever loved him at all?

It’s clear Kyoya’s going to have to think of a different plan.

*

So… this is it.

Mukuro sighs. He’d gotten his hopes up for nothing. Of course, the _**ONE**_ time he has something to lose, he actually does. Lose it, that is.

He lost.

He actually lost.

And what’s more, it wasn’t to Hibari. No, he’d lost to Sawada Tsunayoshi’s childhood bully and his weird, polite brother.

Mukuro punches the wall, hurting his hand in the process and not even leaving a dent in the concrete.

Ah, great. Now his hand is injured.

Is this what happens to those who love? Mukuro laughs. What folly. He’s already hurting in so many different ways, so many shards of glass buried deeply in his heart. What’s another one on top of the pile? What _hasn’t_ he suffered through?

One day, he’ll inflict this suffering back sevenfold on the entire mafia.

Mukuro knows what he has to do. He has to use this anger, this hurt, and turn it back around into something productive. Oh, he’ll wallow in it all right, but at the end he will weaponize his grief and use it only to further his own goals.

*

_And then, somehow, at the same time, in the same instant, Kyoya and Mukuro have an idea._

*

“I don’t like this,” Kyoya says.

That’s an understatement.

“Do you really want to lose out to Mochida and Basil?” Mukuro fires back.

“Fucking _Basil_ ,” Kyoya spits. He **hates** Basil. “You have a point. I still don’t like this, though.”

“You can not like it all you want, but the point remains that they need to die,” Mukuro says, crossing his arms. “I’ll take Mochida. You can dispose of Basil. And then we can _both_ woo Naito. Kufufu… the perfect plan.”

“It’s _not_ perfect,” Kyoya says. “But… it’ll work. Probably.”

“Shall we shake on it?” Mukuro asks, grinning.

Kyoya bashes Mukuro over the head with his tonfas, knocking him out instantly.

Well. He’d better get on with the plan.

Omake:

"Wait, wait, wait- run that by me again, Basil?" Tsuna asked, looking like he was going to faint.

"Well, after the three days I've been here, I've managed to find love in two beautiful boys." Basil explained patiently. "I hope this is okay, Tsuna. (not Sawada-dono, they're brothers) I would not want to upset my little brother."

Tsuna had to massage his temples. This was really too much for him to process.

"Yeah no, it's fine. It's just…" Tsuna began, biting his lip and looking away nervously. "Mochida? Really?"

Basil tilted his head to the side. "Yes, that's right. Do you know him, Tsuna?"

Tsuna let out a heavy sigh. His brother had come to town and somehow ended up getting together with his middle school bully and the guy he talks to sometimes. Naito didn't really matter to him, to be honest. Still, it was really weird.

"Yeah, but it's fine." Tsuna answered with a strained smile. "I'm happy for you, Basil."

Neither of them were ready when Kyoya and Mukuro burst through the wall of Tsuna's house and brutally attacked them. They then both died. The end.

**Author's Note:**

> comment or i send my assassins (water bottle and purple pen) after you
> 
> find me on tumblr: [takeshiyamamoto](https://takeshiyamamoto.tumblr.com)
> 
> this is part of an event called [KHR Obscure Ship Week](https://khrobscureshipweek.tumblr.com/) that im hating on. wanted to do something funny this time.


End file.
